My biggest fear? To be alone

No one wants to be alone and no job is more insulating than being a pop star.

Just ask Lady Gaga.

Her rise to glory in 2009-10 was unlike anything we had seen before. One of the first pop stars to harness the power of the Internet, it seemed to have existed in constant pressure of TMZ photos and blogs for gossip.

Their appetite was insatiable. She wore so many glances and sounds within three years that a critic wrote that she was Madonna’s whole career.

And as her glory increased, the titles became more broken. She put a satanic ritual at a London hotel … She was secretly hermaphrodite … She planned to see her own foot “for fashion”.

When she attended the 2010 MTV awards in a dress made entirely of meat, it seems that no one received the joke: Gaga was presenting as a tabloid fodder, it should be consumed there.

On stage, she was worshiping her fans, the “little monsters”. But anyone who is not Megaloman knows that this kind of attachment is a distant illusion.

“I’m alone, Brandon. Every night,” Gaga said, told his stylist in the 2017 documentary, five feet two.

“I go from everyone who touches me all day and tell me all day until complete silence.”

Now, at the age of 38, and happily engaged with technology entrepreneur Michael Polanski, Gaga admits that those years of privacy are scaring her.

“I think my biggest fear was to do this myself – to do life alone,” she tells the BBC.

“And I think the biggest gift is to meet my partner, Michael and to be in chaos with him.”

The couple has been together since 2020 and revealed their engagement at the Venice Film Festival last September – where Gaga wore an engagement ring for millions of dollars for the first time.

Personally, this is dazzling, with a huge diamond diamond, cut into an oval cut diamond of a diamond band of 18-carat white and rose gold.

But on the other hand, Gaga has a smaller, slower ring, including several blades of grass located in the resin. It turns out this is really the special one.

“Michael actually offered me these blades of grass,” she reveals.

“We were in the backyard for a long time and he asked me,” If I ever suggest you, how do I do it? “

“And I just said,” Just take the grass from the backyard and wrap it around your finger and it will make me so happy. “

It was a deeply romantic gesture that came with sadness. Gaga’s backyard in Malibu had previously played the host of his close friend Sonia Durham, shortly before he died of cancer in 2017.

“There were so many losses, but this happy thing was happening to me,” she recalls Polanski’s proposal.

“To get married to 38 … I was thinking what it took to get to this point.”

These feelings eventually informed a song on her new album Mayhem.

Called (naturally) grass blade, he finds that the star sings for “Kissing lovers in a garden made by thorns“And the promise of love in a time of darkness.

She calls it “thank you” to her partner. And fans may have a reason to thank him.

Mayhem notes the full return of Gaga’s gas to Pop, after a period in which she was busy with her film career and albums who dealt with jazz and classic American songs.

Speaking to Vogue last year, the singer revealed that her fiancé had encouraged her in this direction.

“He was like” dear. I love you. You have to make pop music “,” she said.

“On the Chromatica tour, I saw a fire in it,” Polanski added. “I wanted to help her keep this alive all the time and just start making music that makes her happy.”

With this approach, the album returns to Sucker-Punch Sound to Gaga’s early hits as Poker Face, Just Dance and Born this way.

In the last single, abracadabra, she even reviews “Rome-ma-ma“Gibberish of Bad Romance – Although this time there is a reference to death as she sings”Morta -O -gaga“.

In the work of the art of the album, her face is reflected in a broken mirror. In the videos, she diverts against the larger versions of herself.

There is a huge feeling that the artist Stephanie Germanta is taking into account the stage person she created.

Everything comes on the head of a song called Perfect Celebrity where he sings, “I became the notorious creature” – a lyrics that, like the meat dress before it, removes its humanity.

“This is probably the most faithful song about the glory I have ever written,” she says.

“I created this public person, who I really became in every way – and holding the duality of it, knowing where I started and Lady Gaga was over, was really a challenge.

“That took me down.”

How did she reconcile the public and private sides of her life?

“I think what I actually realized is that it is healthier to no Have a dividing line and integrate these two things into a whole human being, “she says.

“The most healthy thing for me was to have an artist and that I live an artistic life was my choice.

“I am a fan of songwriting. I am a fan of music, rehearsal, choreography, stage production, costumes, lighting, playing a show.

“It means being Lady Gaga. This is the artist behind it all.”

In previous interviews, the musician talks about how he distinguishes himself from Lady Gaga. For a while, she believed that the character was responsible for all her success and had not contributed anything.

Mayhem notes the moment when she regains ownership of her music not only from Lady Gaga, but also from other producers and writers in her orbit.

“When I was more, people tried to take credit for my sound or my image (but) all my references, all my imagination of what pop music could be, comes from me.

“So I really wanted to review my more inspirations and my career and own it as my invention, for once and for all.”

It was obvious from the beginning that Gaga was excited about this new phase.

Last summer, after introducing himself at the Olympics opening ceremony, she took to the streets of Paris and plays early demonstrations of his new music to fans who gathered outside her hotel.

It was an incentive for the decision for the moment, but it still made another effort to restore the spontaneity of her early career.

“This is something I have been doing for almost 20 years, where I played to my music fans before it came out,” she says.

“I used to invite the fans behind the scenes and we will hang out and let them demonstrate and see what they think of music.

“I am sure you can imagine that in 20 years you do not expect people to still show up to hear your music and to be excited to see you. So, I just wanted to share it with them because I was excited that they were there.”

As an interviewer, this is also a moment of full circle for me. I last interviewed Lady Gaga In 2009Like Just Dance Hit Number One in the UK.

Then she had fun with excitement, talking with enthusiasm of her love for John Lennon, calling herself a “heroin drug addict” for English tea and promised to send me an email of MP3 from blueberries – an unlawful song that is quite shiny, to perform a sexual act while my breathing smells like blueberries.

Over the years, I have seen her interviews become more chorded. She would wear outrageous costumes or sunglasses, purely, deliberately placing a barrier between her and the journalist.

But Gaga, which I meet in New York, is the same one I talked to 16 years ago: comfortable with myself and overflowing with enthusiasm.

It puts this ease until “growing up and living a full life.”

“To be there for my friends, to be there for my family, to meet my incredible fiancé – all these things have made me a whole person instead of the most important thing that is my stage person.”

With the finality of the air, she adds: “I wanted Mayhem to have an end. I wanted the chaos to stop.

“I gave way to the icon. It ends with love.”