Tech Bros Are Obsessed With Statue-Maxxing

If the Statue of Liberty is the best symbol of America, welcoming any and all who seek freedom and opportunity to our shores, it’s just that we’ve got a statue that represents America at its worst. Fortunately, the tech bros are on it. According to BloombergMany Republican-aligned tech investors are trying to build new statues across America to prepare us for the collapse of our own imperial age.

According to reports, at least four Silicon Valley dopes are looking to become modern-day Monuments Men. There’s bitcoin mining enthusiast Ross Calvin, who aims to build a 450-foot-tall statue of the Greek god Prometheus on Alcatraz Island; Palanti co-founder and Peter Thiel pal Joe Lonsdale, who has made a habit of commissioning sculptures that evoke “classical aesthetics”; and angel investor Elad Gil, who started a project called Monumental with the goal of building large statues; and Mo Mahmud, founder of More Monument.

Calvin’s plan seems to be the most considered of the bunch. He reportedly plans to lobby Donald Trump’s team with a pitch to reclassify Alcatraz as a national monument instead of a national park. The designation will allow him to build a 30-story tall sculpture of Prometheus, which will apparently be accompanied by a technology museum. The statue, which will dwarf the 305-foot Statue of Liberty, is made of nickel-bronze alloy and will be positioned so that it is visible from across the Bay Area. It will come at a cost of $450 million.

Lonsdale seems less obsessed with scale, but keenly interested in aesthetics. According to Bloomberg, he has already created sculptures (of regular size) of Greek goddesses known as the Three Graces. Neoclassical bust of Barry Wyss which sits on display at the University of Austin, which Lonsdale co-founded. Lonsdale, who calls himself a “classical aesthete,” is also a supporter of the National Monuments Foundation, run by Rodney Mims Cook Jr., who previously served Trump. Appointed to the US Commission of Fine Arts.

Gill has his own venture in this space, called Monumental, which he started about a year ago appearance On the podcast “My First Million” he’s really the money guy here, as he said during the interview that he’s looking to fund someone who can make dreams come true, but his plan is to create statues that are “a blessing for the future,” which he claims is something that civilizations at their peak always do. (What happens after the top, anyone checked?) Per BloombergHe is somewhat less obsessed with “Western” values ​​than others, and seeks inspiration from structures such as Aztec and Mayan temples, the Sphinx of Geezer, and the Great Wall of China.

Then there’s Mahmoud, who has the biggest ambitions in terms of size. He wants to build a 650-foot statue of George Washington—though for now, he’s apparently settling for a 50-foot version that will reportedly be unveiled on July 4, 2026, to mark America’s 250th year. To his credit, he already has a successful project under his belt. Per Bloomberg, his company created a 54-foot statue of an oil derrick, which is now the largest monument in the Austin, Texas area.

Although these seem like deeply ridiculous plans, and frankly, they may have an ally in the White House. Trump has already earmarked $40 million to build one National Park of American Heroeswhich features more than 250 iconic American statues. He also allegedly There are plans to build a Triumphal Arch in Washington, DC that will stand across from the Lincoln Memorial on the other side of the Potomac River. Also, it’s not like he’s deeply opposed to flashy-looking construction, so, he’s a bit of an audience for such things.