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Raising a child in today’s fast-paced, achievement-driven world is no small feat. While many parents focus on grades and extracurriculars, one of the most overlooked skills is emotional intelligence.
This not only helps children excel socially; it helps them grow into durablesympathetic and successful adults who can face challenges with confidence, foster meaningful relationships, and lead fulfilling lives.
So what do parents who raise emotionally intelligent children do differently? After years of studying over 200 parent-child relationships — and from practicing healthy habits with my own child — I’ve uncovered seven powerful strategies these parents adopted early on.
1. They understood the power of silence
They gave their child space to process their feelings and trust their inner voice. When their child was upset, they would sit quietly next to them, offering wordless comfort. Embracing silence can help children better navigate and reflect on their emotions.
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2. They named emotions early and often (mostly their own)
By verbally sharing feelings—such as “I’m disappointed” or “I’m happy”—they taught their children emotional awareness and gave them words to express themselves. This helped their children see emotions as normal and share them openly instead of suppressing them.
3. They apologized to their child
They showed their child that mistakes are a part of life and taking responsibility is strength. Apologizing builds trust and shows respect, which makes their child feel valued. It also models empathy and teaches them how to repair relationships.
4. They didn’t force “please”, “thank you” or “sorry”
This may sound unconventional, but they knew that kindness and respect cannot be forced. Instead, they modeled this behavior by trusting their child to learn by example. If their child forgot to say thank you, the parent said it for them, confident that the lesson would stick over time.
That takes a lot of courage! But as a parenting coach, I never told my 6-year-old to say “please” or “thank you.” Now he says it all the time himself – because he hears me say it.
5. They don’t dismiss small concerns
They took their child’s concerns seriously, whether it was a lost toy or problems with a friend. By validating their feelings, they showed their child that emotions matter. This fostered self-esteem, emotional safety and respect for their experiences.
6. They didn’t always offer solutions
The best way to teach decision making is to encourage children to make their own decisions. Instead of fixing the problems, they asked, “What do you think we should do?” This helped increase critical thinking, confidence and independence.
7. They embraced boredom
They let their child be bored, which helps them become comfortable with silence. This built creativity, self-regulation and problem-solving skills. Their child learned to enjoy his own company and find joy in simple moments like looking out the car window instead of needing a screen.
How to nurture your child’s emotional intelligence
- Model the behavior you want to see: Express your emotions openly, apologize when you make mistakes, and show kindness and empathy in your interactions.
- Validate your child’s feelings, no matter how small they may seem, and give them space to process those emotions without rushing to correct or dismiss them.
- Encourage problem solving by asking open-ended questions rather than providing all the answers.
- Allow them to experience moments of silence or boredom to build creativity and self-regulation.
The most important thing is to focus on building a relationship based on respect and trust – because emotional intelligence starts with feeling safe, valued and understood.
Reem Rauda is a certified conscious parenting coach, mother and creator of TIED UP — the first and only parent-child bonding journal designed to nurture children’s emotional intelligence and self-esteem. She has transformed hundreds of families through her courses, coaching and tools. Follow her Instagram.
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