The past is not set in stone

I’m reading right now ​The Tainted Cup​a fantasy detective novel.

Think “Sherlock Holmes set in Westeros.”

The main character has this augmentation that allows him to absorb every single detail of every interaction, crime scene, and then recite these exact details later.

I remember a terrible one Black Mirror episode about this very thing: being able to recall every fact of every interaction in the past.

Here’s the thing: In all of these scenarios, the facts could be true, but the analysis of these facts still leaves a lot of room for improvement.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently when I came across two stories I want to share:

“​The past is not true​” by Derek Sivers:

When I was 17, I was driving recklessly and crashed into an oncoming car. I found out that I had broken the other driver’s spine and that she would never walk again.

I carried that burden with me everywhere, and I felt so terrible about it for so many years that at 35 I decided to find this woman to apologize to. I found her name and address, went to her house, knocked on the door, a middle-aged woman answered. As soon as I said, “I’m the teenager who hit your car eighteen years ago and broke your back,” I started sobbing—a big ugly cry, breaking out years of remorse.

She was so sweet and hugged me saying, “Oh, baby, baby! Don’t worry. I’m fine!” She then led me into her living room. Walked.

Turns out I got it wrong.

Yes, she broke a couple of vertebrae, but that never stopped her from walking. She said that “that little mishap” helped her pay more attention to her fitness and since then she has been in better health than ever.

Then she apologized for causing the accident in the first place. He apologized.

And this ​a story about the “good old days”​ by Morgan Housel:

A few months ago I reminisced to my wife about how great it was (life was in our early twenties). We were 23 years old, we were busy, we lived in our version of the Taj Mahal. This was before kids, so on weekends we slept in until 10am, went for walks, had lunch, took a nap and went out for dinner. That was our life. For years.

“That was the highlight of life, as good as it gets,” I told her.

“What are you talking about?” she said. “Then you were more anxious, scared and probably depressed than ever.”

…Today I look back in my head and think: “I must have been so happy then. Those were my best years.”

But in reality, at the time I was thinking, “I can’t wait for these years to be over.”

It made me think a lot about the past and our future. It turns out that neither is set in stone!

What story from the past can you rewrite?

As the cliché goes, it’s easier to connect the dots looking back than looking forward.

Is there a story from your past about a certain moment that you still carry with you?

Maybe it’s one full of shame about something that happened, but it led to something even better for you.

Maybe it’s longing for a past life that never really existed.

The past has already happened, but that doesn’t mean it’s set in stone!

Returning to Sivers:

“You can change your history.

Actual factual events are such a small part of it. Everything else is perspective, open to reinterpretation.

The past is never finished.”

I would like to know what story you tell yourself about the past, good or bad, that you choose to rewrite?

-Steve

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