Thailand legalizes same-sex marriage in historic move

As Thailand’s long-awaited marriage equality law comes into force on Thursday, police officer Pisit “Q” Sirihirunchai is hoping to be first in line to marry his long-time partner Chanathip “Jane” Sirihirunchai.

About 180 same-sex couples registered their unions at one of Bangkok’s biggest shopping malls, in an event organized by city officials to mark the law’s milestone.

“We’ve been ready for so long,” Pisit says. “We were just waiting for the law to catch up with us and back us up.”

They have been together for seven years. Eager to formalize their relationship, they have already gone to a Buddhist monk to give them an auspicious new surname to share – Sirihirunchai. They also asked the local authorities to issue a letter of intent, which they both signed promising to marry.

But they say having their union recognized under Thai law is what they really dreamed of. This means that LGBTQ+ couples now have the same rights as any other couple to get engaged and marry, manage their assets, inherit and adopt children.

They can make decisions about medical treatment if their partner becomes ill and incapacitated, or extend financial benefits – such as Pisit’s state pension – to their spouse.

“We want to build a future together – build a house, start a small business together, maybe a coffee shop,” he adds, listing everything the law allowed. “We want to build our future together and take care of each other.

Prisit says he has the full support of his colleagues at the police station and hopes he can encourage others in the civil service to be open about their sexuality: “They should feel encouraged because they can see us coming out no consequences, only positive responses.”

As a younger couple, Prisit and Chanatip – both in their mid-30s – have experienced fewer obstacles than those who came out much earlier.

But for their community, it’s been a long journey. Despite Thailand’s known tolerance for LGBTQ+ people, activists say it took a long campaign to win legal recognition.

“We have been waiting for this day for 18 years – the day when everyone can recognize us openly, when we no longer need to avoid or hide,” said Rungtiwa Thangkanopast, 59, who will marry her partner of 18 years in May .

She was married, arranged by her family, to a gay man who later died. She had a daughter through IVF, but after her husband’s death she began spending time and later helping to run one of Bangkok’s first lesbian pubs. That’s when she met Phanlavee, who is now 45 and goes by just her first name.

On Valentine’s Day 2013 the two women went to the Bang Rak district office in central Bangkok to request a formal marriage – a popular place for marriage registration because the name means “City of Love” in Thai.

This was the time when LGBTQ+ couples began challenging the official view of marriage as an exclusively heterosexual partnership by trying to obtain marriage licenses at county offices.

There were about 400 heterosexual couples waiting for them that day. Rungtiwa and Phanlavee were turned down, and the Thai media mocked their efforts, using derogatory slang for lesbians.

Still, activists managed to convince the government to consider changing the marriage laws. A proposed civil partnership bill has been brought before parliament, offering some official recognition to same-sex couples, but not the same legal rights as heterosexual couples.

A military coup in 2014 that overthrew the elected government disrupted the movement. It would be another decade before full marriage equality was approved by Parliament, in part due to the rise of young, progressive political parties who championed the cause.

Their message resonated with Thais – and attitudes changed too. At that time, same-sex marriage was legalized in many Western countries, and same-sex love was normalized in Thai culture as well.

Such was the swing in favor of the law that it was passed last year by an overwhelming majority of 400 votes to just 10 against. Even in the notoriously conservative Senate, only four opposed the bill.

And couples like Rungtiwa and Fanleeva now have their chance to get recognition for their love for each other, without the risk of public ridicule.

“With this law comes the legitimacy of our family,” says Rungtiwa, “We are no longer viewed as outsiders just because our daughter was not raised by heterosexual parents.”

The new law removes gender-specific terms such as man, woman, husband and wife from the 70 sections of the Thai Civil Code covering marriage and replaces them with neutral terms such as individual and spouse.

However, there are still dozens of laws in the Thai legal code that have yet to become gender neutral, and there are still obstacles to same-sex couples using surrogacy to have a family.

Under Thai law, parents are still defined as mother and father. The law also still prevents people from using their preferred gender on official documents; they are still stuck with their birth gender. These are areas where activists say they will have to keep pushing for change.

Yet it is a historic moment for Thailand, which is outside Asia in recognizing marriage equality. And this is especially important for older couples who have had to overcome relationship changes.

“I really hope people get behind the old, stereotypical ideas that gay men can’t have real love,” says Chakrit “Ink” Vadhanweera.

He and his partner Prin, both 40, have been together for 24 years.

“We both proved that we love each other sincerely and all the time for more than 20 years,” says Chakrit. “We’ve been ready to take care of each other since our first day together. We are no different than heterosexual couples.”

While Chakrit’s parents quickly accepted their partnership, it took Prin’s parents seven years before they were able to do so.

The couple also wanted to share the production business they ran together and other assets as a couple, so they asked Prin’s parents to adopt Chakrit officially, giving him the same last name. Prine says the new law has brought them much-needed legal clarity.

“For example, right now, when a same-sex couple buys something together — a large item — they can’t share ownership of it,” Prine said. “And one of us dies, what we have earned together cannot be passed on to the other. This is why marriage equality is so important.”

Today, Prin says, both sets of parents treat them as they would any other married child.

And when they had relationship problems like any other couple, their parents helped them.

“My dad even started reading gay magazines to understand me better. It was pretty sweet to see.”

Additional reporting by Thanyarat Doksone and Ryn Jirenuwat in Bangkok